Showing posts with label one liners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label one liners. Show all posts
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Past is not important (some good lines)
Dare to implement in life !!!!!!!
My Favorites lines are 1 , 2, 3, , 7 and 8
1- Do you know why a car's windshield is so large & the rearview mirror is so small? Because our PASTis not as important as your FUTURE. Look Ahead and Move on.
2-Friendship is like a Book. It takes years to write but few seconds to burn.
3- All things in life are Temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.
4- Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!
5- Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, "Relax, it's just a bend, not the end!
6-When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in His abilities.
When GOD doesn't solve your problems He has faith in your abilities.
7- A blind man asked a wise person: "Can there be anything worse than losing eyesight?"
He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"
8-When you pray for others, GOD listens to you and blesses them,and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.
9- WORRYING does not take away tomorrows' TROUBLES, it
takes away today's PEACE......
10-Prayer is not a "Spare Wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "Steering Wheel" that directs the right path throughout.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Some Inspiration Quotes
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
- Vince Lombardi
We must be the change we wish to see in the world.
-Mahatma Gandhi
Here is my Favorite
I do not have superior intelligence or faultless looks.
I do not captivate a room or run a mile under six minutes.
I only succeeded because I was still working after everyone else went to sleep.
I do not captivate a room or run a mile under six minutes.
I only succeeded because I was still working after everyone else went to sleep.
- Greg Evans
Nothing will work unless you do.
- Maya Angelou
The future depends on what we do in the present
The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is
going to stop me.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
going to stop me.
- Ayn Rand from The Fountainhead
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- Confucius
Don't wait.
The time will never be just right.
The time will never be just right.
- Napoleon Hill
If not now, when? If not us, who?
- George Romney
If you can imagine it, you can achieve it;
if you can dream it, you can become it.
if you can dream it, you can become it.
- William Arthur Ward
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it.
Every time we choose safety,
we reinforce fear.
Every time we choose safety,
we reinforce fear.
- Cheri Huber
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Oneliner joke, funny Oneliner
- It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
- Name the 3 fastest means of communication?Telephone, Television and Tell-a-woman!
- Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
- Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
- Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
- Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
- Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
- Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
- Father : A banker provided by nature.
- Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
- Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
- I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell you see, I have friends in both places.
- Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Long live Bachelors - A compilation
Long live Bachelors
Don't marry for money;
you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
I don't worry about terrorism.
I am married for two years.
--Sam Kinison
Men have a better time than women;
for one thing, they marry later;
for another thing, they die earlier.
--H. L. Mencken
When a newly married couple smiles,
everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles,
everyone wonders why.
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.
I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back to home always.
--Anonymous
I asked my wife,
"Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous
We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.
...cool one...
My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.
--Anonymous
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
--Anonymous
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,
"Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled,
"No, jump in."
--Anonymous
If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...
at least he'll shut up after u let him in!
--Anonymous
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his
dearly parted mother and started back toward
his car when his attention was diverted to another
man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said,
"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."
A couple came upon a wishing well.
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin.
The wife decided to make a wish, too.
But she leaned over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then
smiled "It really works ! "
Don't marry for money;
you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
I don't worry about terrorism.
I am married for two years.
--Sam Kinison
Men have a better time than women;
for one thing, they marry later;
for another thing, they die earlier.
--H. L. Mencken
When a newly married couple smiles,
everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles,
everyone wonders why.
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.
I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back to home always.
--Anonymous
I asked my wife,
"Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous
We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.
...cool one...
My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.
--Anonymous
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
--Anonymous
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,
"Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled,
"No, jump in."
--Anonymous
If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...
at least he'll shut up after u let him in!
--Anonymous
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his
dearly parted mother and started back toward
his car when his attention was diverted to another
man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said,
"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."
A couple came upon a wishing well.
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin.
The wife decided to make a wish, too.
But she leaned over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then
smiled "It really works ! "
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Tiny Liners : Laughs Its the medicine
- Why does the Tower of Pisa in Italy Lean?
- ----- Its Italicized.
- Other people's Tattoos are like other people's children.
- What is Gossip. : When you hear something you like about some you don't -- earl Wilson
- What is Electicity : Organized Lightning. ---Goerge Carlin
- Fruit? A vegetable with looks and Money. -- P.J o'Rourke
- Chocolate Dipped Man
A Working chocolate factory fell into a huge vat of chocolate. No one was nearby so he began yelling. "Fire!Fire!"
Eventually a fellow worker come to his aid and pulled him to safety.
Then asked him WHY yelling FIRE FIRE?
dipped employee Replied
I Didnt thing anybody would come if I yelled Chocolate Chocolate
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